this blows.

i hate headaches. and this bright white screen isn't helping.

i still miss my best friend. i should be over this, but everything is just making it worse.

is it bad that i'm praying for myself? haha, i need it.

i've been in no mood.

I just never feel like being online anymore. It's fun, but it's just getting old. If you want to follow me, do it on twitter.

twitter.com/jessie_b

I'm tired, I need a shower, and I need sleep.

TPOBAW.

And I told Michelle that I was a kid and did not need an exercise machine, but I hope she was having a good night. That’s when Michelle hung up on me. And I didn’t mind a bit.

That was probably my favorite part of The Perks of Being a Wallflower. It made me smile. That whole book made me smile. I'm reading it again, just because I love it so much.

i can't ever think of titles.

Today was horrible. I don't even know what made it so horrible, it just sucked. I wasn't really happy at all, which is weird because I'm normally always happy. It just threw me off a bit. The fact that Idol is on later cheers me up a bit. DANNYGOKEYFTW!<3 I love him.

I don't really know what else to say, but I'm in a typing mood, so I might just ramble on about stuff.

I've been hungry ALL the time lately, and I hate it. Makes me wonder with all the leg and back pains I've had on top of that if I'm finally growing my last few inches. I don't want to be done growing. Not that I need anymore at five foot seven, but I don't know. I don't want to be done.

SANCTUS REAL = AWESOME SAUCE...still. (((((: That's really all I've been listening to. I like the fact that I've found some music that still honors God that I'm really in love with and can relate too. It brings me joy.

Well, I have to go do some chores and stuff, before my mom gets home. So I might write later, I don't know.

something heavenly.

Time to face up, clean this old house.
Time to breathe in and let everything out,
that I've wanted to say for so many years.
Time to to release all my held back tears.
Whatever you're doing inside of me,
it feels like chaos, but I believe,
You're up to something bigger than me.
Larger than life something heavenly.

Whatever You're Doing (Something Heavenly) - Sanctus Real


This song means so much to me, on a higher level than anyone could ever reach.

JUNE 15th!

OMGOSHOMGOSHOMGOSH! NEW JONAS ALBUM; JUNE 15.

i'm kind of freaking out. (((((:

73°

it's nice and warm here, and i love it. to death.

school is so tiring...

I hate being so tired. It's like no matter how much sleep I get, I'm still just as exhausted when I wake up, still exhausted all through school, and then even MORE exhausted when I get home.

My school library is so dumb, aha. Every time I go in there to look for a book, it's either not there, or it's there, but some weird-o decided to move it from where it's supposed to be.

Youth yesterday was awesome. Since Mike and Michelle are gone in Florida, we got to do the study things by ourselves, and just kind of chilled. We play leap the brook too! Which I haven't played in like a zillion years, haha. (((:


My heart can see You better than my eyes, cause it's love that paints the portrait of Your life. The face of love, the face of love, You look more like love everyday.

another sleepless week...

i can just feel it.
and i hate it.

we need each other.

Oh, oh, we need each other,
So what's the fighting for.
Oh, oh, we need each other,
Please don't close the door.
Oh, oh, we need each other,
Through all the highs and lows.
Oh, oh, we need each other,
Cause no one's meant to be alone.

<3

Sanctus Real. I'm in love with their music, and their lyrics, and their love for God.

YEC.

that was THEE most amazing night ever. who knew that 6 and a half hours could go by so fast.

the speaker was amazing. he talked about the death of Jesus, and how we can all be trapped by religon, and good deeds that we think that's all we need to be saved. it was amazing to see how he affected so many people, and to see how many people got saved.

AND...the bands! WOW! rush of fools was amazing. SANCTUS REAL IS LIKE MY NEW FAVORITE. they were just amazing, and it's unreal how much music can move you. especially music about Jesus Christ.

it was so funny though because caroline was waving her glasses around and they took them and put them on! they she got to go up on stage and introduce the lead singer! we got to meet them afterward though, so i got the braclet i bought signed. we would have met rush of fools too, but the line was like a mile long for their table. which i though was a little crazy, because the line for sanctus was tiny!

we left the nutter and walked through the drive through at taco bell, haha. then we went back to the church and just chilled. played some sardines, some pool and air hockey, just talked. i love my youth group. (:

let's seeeeeee...

i'm stealing the 50 things idea from emily, who stole it from elise, who stole it from mitchell davis. haha. (these aren't in any particular order, except for about the first three)

1. Jesus
2. singing, piano, music
3. youth group
4. nail polish
5. Jonas Brothers
6. staying up late
7. writing
8. Eragon, Eldest, Brisingr
9. laying in the grass
10. long car rides
11. my puppies, Maggie and Maxwell.
12. curling up with a good book
13. thunderstorms
14. Heroes
15. green converse (Nick Jonas shoes!)
16. skinny jeans
17. Kristen Nicole Fletcher
18. KATIE BREWER!!!!
19. Zach Webber
20. American Idol
21. staring at the stars
22. Myspace
23. Kira, Emily, everyone i've met through Myspace.
24. Massachusetts, representin'! haha.
25. Sheri, the best twin sister ever.
26. Keith, the best brother ever.
27. Mom
28. Dad
29. CSI: NY
30. 11:11
31. flip-flops
32. baseball, baseball, baseball!
33. plaid
34. the ocean
35. boogeyboarding
36. knee-high socks
37. Glen Echo Lake
38. Trenton, the cutest nephew ever.
39. blogging
40. zune products
41. riding my bike
42. SLEEP
43. texting
44. drawing on fogged up windows
45. school; mostly enligsh
46. peanut butter crackers
47. peace, love, happiness
48. 2 Corinthians 12:10
49. Taylor Swift, Demi Lovato, Miley Cyrus
50. being myself

i've run out of books to read.

i've seriously read like every book on my bookshelf. i don't know what to do, haha. if it's warm enough tomorrow, i might walk to the library or something.

i'm seriously thinking about trying to pull an all nighter, but it probably won't happen.

Life.

"Life" is the time God gives you to determine how you want to spend eternity.

Choose to spend it with Him.

if only

it seems you're my mind,
it seems you're my thoughts,
it seems you're my life,
it seems that you've bought,

a way into my heart,
nobody's every had such an effect on me
you make my stomach turn to knots,
and my heart seems to flutter away,
if only i could ask you to stay

it's been almost a year,
that i've known you,
i can't seem to gather up the courage,
and tell you that you've found

a way into my heart,
nobody's every had such an effect on me
you make my stomach turn to knots,
and my heart seems to flutter away,
if only i could ask you to stay

and be mine,
til the end of time
that day may never come,
so until the day does come
i guess

you'll just be a figment of my heart,
only i'll feel the feelings,
and only my stomachs in knots
my heart will want to fly away,
if only i could ask you to stay

B-O-R-E-D.

it sucks. really, being bored is about the worst feeling ever, because your going crazy on the inside, but have nothing to do on the outside. so this is what i'm choosing to do on the outside, because i'm in a typing mood again! yay! haha, wow, someone knocked something over in the kitchen. taylor swift makes amazing music. i singing white horse...KARAOKE STYLE! not to be cokcy or rude to taylor, but i think i sing it better. LMAO. just kidddding. but i think i do sound pretty good. is that weird to say? or think? i mean i know i'm good but i guess it's kind of concieted to like annouce it somewhere. oh well. me and my best friend are probably going to sing white horse for variety show. AHHHH! nerve wracking. i'm not good with crowds. you know what other song i really like by her? fifteen. BECAUSE I AM FIFTEEN! wooooh. haha. only, i'm fifteen and i've never had someone say i love you to me. that doesn't really bother me though. i don't want the heartache that comes with that just yet. i'm just going to make this one big paragraph, because it's kind of already to late to think about spliting it. welllllllllll, i'm bored with this now. i'm going to go find something else to do.

VOA Park.

4 words: kites are freaking awesome.

i won't take long.

i'm too exhausted to write much, but i'm worried. i'm worried about my best friend because i can't get a hold of her. she should be in florida, but i don't even know if she got her phone back. i don't even know if she's in florida. she's been having a bad week, and that's made me have a bad week, because when she's not happy, i might as well be unhappy too. i've been praying for her like crazy, and i hope she feels better and that guys stop being such buttholes. i swear, i'm going to kick some boo-tay if one more person hurts her like they keep doing.

spring break is finally here, but the weather and situations have got me pretty down in the dumps. i'm up at my dad's until tuesday, so at least i have something to do other that sit at home while my mom would be at work.

it's supposed to snow on monday. gosh, the weather here is so bi-polar. i'm darn sick of it. it's SPRING BREAK. winter break is over with.

i've been thinking a lot about what i want to do with my future. i know i want to be a writer, but when you look at how many fields there are just in writing, i'm right back to where i was...not knowing what i want to do. i think i want to write my own books, or i want to be an editor, that way i can just sit and read all day. that would be like my dream job. i just want to do something that i love. i guess i'll just have to let my dreams develop over the next three years. maybe then i'll have decided.

so, i just suddenly got into a typing mood, and i'm actually like not messing up while i'm typing, and that's like my favorite, hahaha. i don't know what else to talk about.

school has been really frustrating lately. there's just so much stuff to focus on that's not necessary. especially math which has been giving me major problems.

on a good note, i made chorliers for next year. i auditioned yesterday. not that there was any chance of me not making it, but it was still nerve wracking. the only thing that sucks is that we lost almost all of the guys, and now we're down to like four. it's depressing how much one teacher can make you want to quit doing music. i've decided not to let him get to me. music means too much to my dear little heart.

well, sorry about the total lie i told in the title, hahaha. i guess i'll leave it at that.

FREAKINGOUTRIGHTNOW!

AHHHHHHHHHH! THE JONAS BROTHERS CALLED ME! one of my friends mom is down in texas and met denise. so she told her about me and how huge of a fan i was, and they called mee!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dude, it was the bes thing ever! AHHHHHH! i can't get over it!















....APRIL FOOOOOOLS. hahahahaha.
i hope i got at least someone with that.
xD

well, i have a horendous headace, so i think i'm gonna get off the computer.
happy april fools day! :D