ugh.

there's too many things happening that souldn't be. it's making me crazy.

today has improved my mood though.
i got to see hannah! :DDD
and we discovered that me and kevin make a kickass bowling team, lmao.
XD

i thought you were my best friend.

i thought i could always count on you,
i thought i could trust you,
i thought we said nothing would ever come between us,
i thought all those times we spent together,
all those times we spent laughing our asses off,
and sitting on the porch swing until midnight,
belting songs in the car,
talking for hours about god knows what,
doing what two best friends do,
actually meant something.

if your willing to let whatever this is that's making you mad at me tear us apart, i guess i'll just have to deal with that. but i'll still love you like a sister forever, no matter what.

oh...that's right.

i was gonna say something else.

Wallahalla is pretty much my favorite place now, haha.

if you haven't been there, you're def. missing out.
:DDD

doggie, dog.

AHHHH! i found my doggie socks. they even have little tails, lmao! so, i want to watch elf, but heaven forbid sheri misses her dang pushing daisies. i am so glad there's no more seasons after this one.

it def. doesn't feel like wednesday, because yesterday felt like friday, and so i've been thinking today was saturday....but it's wednesday....not saturday. but tomorrow is thanksgiving, and i'm really excited about that. i love going over to the Grodkewicz's house, especially for thanksgiving. and there's bound to be spinich salad, mhmmmm. (:

i think i'm going to start writing again, but about what, i don't know yet. i've been brainstorming my ass off and nothing sounds good to me. :P

well, unless i feel like writing again, i'm gonna stop for now.

i'm pretty much slowly falling apart, and i hate it. i can't believe how obsessed i've become with him, and i don't know why i've become so attatched to the idea that this would ever work, because the sad fact is that it probably won't work, ever. no matter how bad i want it to. and i can't let it go, i don't WANT to let it go. i want to hold on to his smile and his voice, even though i know it's not doing me any good. it's how i'm programed, and i need to re-program before this becomes middle school all over again. and we all know how middle school went, exept for the jackass it was all about. i must be a jackass magnet or something. UGH. i'm going to bed. whatever.

i wish i could go back a few weeks.

i was so happy a few weeks ago, but now it's just gone downhill from there. i mean i'm still happy, just not the happy that made me feel so good; about everything.

i want it back; i really do.

just for myspace reasons.

jessie's what i'll most likely answer to, but call me anything really. i'm fourteen, a freshman at wilmington high school. a lot of people say i don't act my age. i guess it depends on the day and how much sugar i've managed to consume. i guess i can call myself a musician. i've been playing piano for four years, and i absolutely would die without it. my friends mean the world to me and so much more. if it's not piano that's keeping me alive, it's them. and you all know who you are. i try not to let other people get to me, because most of the time it's not worth the fight. i'm a pretty laid back person, but i do have my moments. to put it out there, i'm a baseball junkie, and i do yell at the tv when a game is on, well a red sox game anyway. if i'm not seen in converse, you'll see me in flip-flops. yes, i wear skinny jeans, no, i am not emo. i retard run and raid vending machines. acoustic music is my favorite. i love to write. i wish i could play the drums. i'm super shy around new people, but get to know me, and you've found a friend for life.

stupidstupidstupid.

i could say i don't like him that much anymore, but that would be a lie. i could say i was over him, but that would be like the biggest lie possible. and now, i've latched myself on and it's gonna be just like middle school all over again, where i wasted my life drooling over some jerk who didn't even like me, and is well, A JERK. why does this always happen to me. i fall so hard for the wrong people, and then i can't get over them for the love of anything.

maybe i can change his mind, maybe just maybe.

i just love...

how age has to ruin everything.

the ship has sailed and i'm definatly not with it.
and never really was.