HOLYCOW.

i can't believe march is almost over. this year has gone by entirely too fast.

ahhhh.

four short days until spring break. seems just a little too long. the sucky part is that i'm not doing anything until friday of next week, but friday will most definitely be the highlight of my week. anything that involves my youth group, laser tag, and and overnighter where no one sleeps is ALWAYS fun.

haha, well i just finished my homework, and part of sheri's (since she's computer stupid) and now i want to go read, or pass out. either will be just fine.

(:

FML.

they just HAVVVVVVVVVVE to watch movies.

UGHHHHHHHHHHHH.

left out.

i hate when sheri has friends over, because she always invites two, and then i'm never aloud to have anyone over. i swear my family hates me. PLUS...all they freaking do is talk, and talk...and TALK. it makes me want to shoot myself. i don't want to shoot myself that often either.

the jonas brothers are going to be playing all night as revenge. hey, it doesn't bother me. it's not my fault they all choose to hate good music.

sugarpiehunnybunch♥

YOU KNOW THAT I LOOOOOOOOVE YOU!
haha, i have that stuck in my head.

mannnn, i'm so hyper, and happy. i'm just happy about life. i'm happy with who i am. i'm happy with where i'm headed. all that matters is that follow God with all i am. i know that by doing that i'll be sucessful in whatever i do. i know that He'll keep an eye on me, and shelter me through the bad times. i know that i can talk to Him whenever i need to. i know that He's there, and always will be as long as i need him. it makes me happy.

(:

MYSPACE.

i think myspace wants me to kill it. first they change everything to the point where is messes up my internet and i can't do anything without having to refresh my page a zillion times, and now they're blocking blogspot links. I AM GOING TO SHOOT TOM IN THE FACE.

D':

sanctuary.

eh, today was rough. no particular reason, it was just too long. way too long. music has really been a sanctuary for me. it's kept me going a lot more than it used too. i want to get back into piano lessons. i miss learning about my favorite instrument, i miss practicing, and i really want to be able to play more than i do. it's almost torture.

i can't wait for the hannah montana movie. haha, i'm such a disney nerd. i seriously can't though. i love all of the songs in it, and though it's kind of obvious who she's gonna choose, it still looks really good.

so i'm sick...again. i swear, if i get sick one more time, i might shoot something, aha.

i should probably get some sleep so for now i'm going to go chill in my room. night.

i used to be a little bit shy,
i kept my deepest feelings inside.
speaking up to you about my,
emotions has always been hard.
but this just can't wait.
tonight i feel a little bit brave.
so i won't let one more day,
pass me by without you
explaining what we are.

the thing is...

when i think about you, i don't picture your face. i picture who i know you are. i replay our conversations, and i love how sweet and gentleman-like you are. that makes me think that you're something worth going after. it makes me think that maybe i shouldn't give up so easily. this time, it's my heart talking, and i can honestly say that that's never happened with anyone but you.

give me a chance?

my heart beat, beats me senselessly.
whys everything gotta be so intense with me?
i'm trying to handle all this unpredictability.
in all probability, it's a long shot, but i say why not?
if i say forget it, i know that i'll regret it.
it's a long shot, just to beat these odds.
the chance is we won't make it,
but I know if i don't take it there's no chance.
cause you're the best i've got.


kelly clarkson writes my life stories.

say wha, say whaaaa?!

i'm thinking about going to bed. i always seem to catch up on my sleep on fridays. i'm so screwed when i have a boyfriend that wants to go on friday night dates, cause i won't make it through them. lmao.

i really want to see adventureland, i love you man, and knowing. and i probably have enough movie coupons to see them all.

if you want a book to read check out warrior heir, by someone who i forgot their name. it's reallllly good! seriously.

my eyes feels like a blood vessel just popped, so i'm gonna end this random, sporadic post and go to bed. (:

i like you a little bit...

is that weird?

(:

my hearts in two, and i can't find the other half.

i don't know what to talk about tonight, but i felt the need to post something. don't know why.

this might be it, because really i don't have much to say.

i miss my best friend. i never get to spend time with her anymore. it's really getting to me.

i also can't even explain where my heart is at. at the moment it's going in about a zillion different directions, and i'm not sure if any of them are the way to go.

i officially have a car...

that i can't drive yet. BAHA. my mom and me went out and she bought a new car for herslef (a hyundai sonata), so NOW i get the saturn. well technically both me and sheri get the saturn. we don't have to say that though, haha.

the reason i can't drive it yet is pretty obvious. i haven't even gotten my permit yet, but i'll have it this summer. so THEN, i can drive the saturn.

i'm actually kind of nervous, because that car is on the verge of break-down. :O kind of scary. but oh well. i still have a car! WOOH!

D':

have you ever been in a place where your best friend ditches you because she thinks you've found a new best friend, but that new best friend that you found isn't really your best friend because she has a best friend of her own, and ever since then your first best friend isn't the same around you, because she's found a new best friend, and it seems that she doesn't care about you anymore because it seems like she's trying to get revenge for you not being her best friend, even though you still are and always will be her best friend?

it isn't much fun at all.

My heart fluttered as I walked down the hallway. 5..4..3..2..1. My eyes laid sight on the most beautiful boy in the world, it seemed. This was a daily thing for me. As I walked out of my 2nd period home ec class, he walked out of his study hall. My eyes automatically shot up to his face. His eyes more specifically. Big light brown eyes, adorable blonde hair, framing his near perfect face. I couldn't take it. I couldn't take it that no matter how many times I saw those beautiful brown eyes, they would probably never be mine to stare right into and say "I love you." No matter how much I wished they would be.

i've tried.

i've tried to give up on you. i've tried to grasp the concept of trying to be your friend. i've tried to stop thinking about you every second of the day.

and none of it is working. at all.

why do i even bother?

god forbid. i should have known that there's always someone that comes before me. so why do i even bother anymore? wait, then i wouldn't have a best friend. what a best friend you are anyway.

i remember when i basically lived at your house. OH WAIT, someone else lives there now. i remember when we used to walk together in the hallways. OH WAIT, you found someone else for that. i remember when a year ago, you said if you ever got a myspace, i'd always be your number one. OH WAIT, now i'm your number four.

what happened to us? what happened to the two crazy best friends. OH WAIT, you found someone else to be your best friend. thanks for shoving me out of the picture.

OH.

well, we went to large group contest on saturday. we got a 2, which is pretty good, but not good enough to go to state. it was a bummer, because i know we all worked really hard. oh well. what happens, happens.

well,

it's been a while. i guess i just haven't had much to say.

i finished brisingr today. HOLY CRAP, THE ENDING BLOWS! in a good way of course. haha. i just can't wait for the next, and last :(, one. like, you have no idea. i think i'm either going to re-read all of them, being eragon, eldest and brisingr, or i'm going to start one of the many books i bought over break.

school's going alright. i got all my grades back up to a's, except for in math. i don't know if i'll be able to get it back up either because the end of the quarter is next week. let's hope i can.

i don't know what else to say. i've been just fine, i hope you have been too. (:

blah, blah, blah.

sickness always picks the perfect time to hit me. if this is what my mom had, it's only going to get worse, and by the time saturday rolls around i'll probably be too sick to sing at contest. UGH.

i have a lot on my mind these days.

my grades are slipping, and you have NO idea how much it bothers me not to have a's. i never thought it would bother me, but now that it's happening, it bothers me so much. i've tried to get my geometry grade up, but i keep getting b's on tests. it's stupid mistakes i'm making too, which just makes it all the worse.

i've pretty much decided now what i want to do out of high school. i want to major in english and minor in music. honestly, those two things mean the world to me and i can't see myself doing anything else. i'm glad i can finally say that because i was lost on that path for much too long a time.

that's the reason i think i've been struggling in math. i know i have no use for it. i'm never going to have to use trigonometric ratios, or know how to identify and solve side lengths for special triangles. it's frustrating to have to focus on something you don't want to do so hard. plus all of this math and history and science that i have to do is leaving me no time to do the things i love such as writing or getting back into piano lessons again, and because of how crappy the economy is, my school is cutting classes. one of those classes might be creative writing, which really breaks my heart. i was looking forward to that class so much, because i finally have the prerequisite to take it, or i will by the end of the year. sucky time for the economy to go down the toilet.

i am so SICK of being sick. like really. it's been close to five weeks, and every time i get better i just get sick all over again. no medicine ever seems to work either.

we won't even get into my so called love life simply because it doesn't exist. i've decided to just give up on even trying to like someone, because it just always ends up with me wasting more of my life.

UGH. i feel better now that i got some of that out.